domingo, noviembre 25, 2007

El día que leí Conversación en el Taller.

Conocí a Reina María Rodríguez una noche de otoño de 1976. No era fácil encontrar en la Facultad de Ciencias a alguien que dispusiera de tiempo y posibilidades de comunicación para apoyarla en su proyecto de crear un Taller Literario en la facultad. Cuando me pidieron que lo hiciera, eso significó para mí una tarea asignada por la FEU, tarea de cuyo cumplimiento debía informar. Lo que ella necesitaba para hacer su trabajo, era poco: ocupar un local durante dos horas, con asientos para reunir entre cinco y diez personas y difusión entre los estudiantes.

Reina era una graduada reciente, instructora de cultura y ganadora del concurso estudiantil “Trece de marzo” con un pequeño libro de poesía “La gente de mi barrio”. Ella me conocía, ya que su hermano más joven, Eduardo, a quien llamábamos por su segundo apellido, Landa, era mi compañero de estudios desde el cuarto grado de la escuela primaria. Me invitó a asistir a alguna de las sesiones del Taller y lo hice casualmente una noche en que salía de una reunión de la FEU a la hora en que ellos iban a comenzar su sesión.

En esa oportunidad, la primera para mí, había seis o siete asistentes al comienzo y luego se incorporaron dos más. Reina repitió explicaciones que dijo haber dado anteriormente acerca del trabajo que se realizaría allí y leyó alguno de sus poemas. Su invitación a que los demás hicieran lo mismo fue bien acogida, pero no había nadie más preparado para leer, ni siquiera Edmundo, estudiante de Física aficionado a la literatura fantástica a la que confundíamos en aquellos años con la Ciencia Ficción, que le había dado a valorar algunos cuentos a Reina, pero aún no se sentía listo para enfrentar una lectura pública.

El ambiente del Taller, los comentarios inteligentes, el brillo de las personas que asistieron: Octavio, Alistoy, Héctor, Edmundo, Patricia, Lupe, Reina; hicieron que fuera un rato formidable. Algunos faltaron a reuniones posteriores, otros se incorporaron. Hubo asistentes efímeros, personalidades visitantes. El Taller se convirtió en un espacio de expresión que yo esperaba cada semana ansiosamente.

Siempre me gustó la Literatura. Además de lector impenitente, rimé, compuse canciones, cartas a las niñas en la escuela al campo, el periódico del Instituto. Pero la Matemática se apoderó de mi alma (Perelman, Mario González y Julio Rey Pastor, entre otros autores de excelentes libros deben haber tenido que ver con ello así como haber tenido maestros de Matemática inolvidables desde la primaria, cosa que no ocurrió con la Literatura). El Taller de Reina hizo renacer mi espíritu de golpeador de teclas.

Después de algunas presentaciones intrascendentes, comencé la lectura de una novela para la cual había escrito unas veinte hojas de una libreta, mezclándolas con fórmulas y dibujos. La atención con que los concurrentes siguieron mi lectura me movió. La libreta se me acabó a la segunda vez y me vi obligado a escribir para presentar una continuación cada semana. El círculo de asistentes se había ampliado y me llegaron las primeras voces de advertencia: “¡Cuidado!” “¡Te puedes buscar un lío!” Nadie me acusaba de difamar o mentir, sólo me advertían que pisaba un terreno peligroso.

Se trataba de una historia inocente. No resaltaba aspectos negativos de la realidad. Era sincera, pero tenía pocas herramientas con las que profundizar en esa sinceridad. El éxito tan rotundo que había tenido, sin embargo, reflejaba que la sociedad estaba necesitando ese tipo de literatura. Nunca trascribí o preparé la novela para su publicación. En cambio, empecé a leer algunos cuentos que se me habían ido ocurriendo a medida que escribía la novela. A preparar una segunda novela.

Hay momentos que marcaron mi relación con el Taller y que recuerdo especialmente. Uno, fue cuando murió un personaje de mi novela. Yo estaba dibujando con él a un amigo mío que había muerto unos años atrás, tratando de salvar a otro amigo. Introduje al personaje con la idea de quitarlo después. Era necesario para que la historia funcionara, ya que era un freno que impedía al protagonista desarrollar sus tendencias y preparé para él un accidente mortal. Parece que no se lo esperaban los del taller, porque esa noche hubo silencio y la muerte, por inesperada y absurda, fue sentida como real por los asistentes.

La lectura de cuatro de los cuentos recibió reacciones emocionales. Al terminar uno de ellos, “El Hombre”, Edmundo me mostró una ilustración inspirada en el cuento. La había dibujado mientras me escuchaba. Era un pie humano entrando en una máquina de moler carne. La lectura de “Juan, el Internacionalista” encontró a Manolito que acababa de llegar de Angola, y se dolió de la forma en que abordaba el tema (el cuento no tenía nada que ver con la guerra de Angola). Leí “¡Ah, qué felicidad! (este cuento está incluido en Ternera Macho) una noche en que Eduardo Heras León visitaba el Taller. Creo que es un buen cuento y que él lo vio así. Pero él estaba “tronado” y apenas levantaba su “Acero” después de trabajar años en la fundición. “¡Qué amargo!” fue su único comentario.

Pero “Conversación” fue con el que se hizo más nítido el problema que enfrentábamos. Era un diálogo entre dos jóvenes acerca de las prácticas corruptas en las altas esferas (eran los tiempos de “Landy”, Primer Secretario de la UJC durante el Onceno Festival de la Juventud, después condenado a veinte años de cárcel acusado de corrupción). Al terminar la lectura, Héctor dijo que él no se encontraba presente. Entre ocurrencias y sustos, todos mandaron el mismo mensaje: el tema era demasiado peligroso. Nadie negaba que fuera cierto el fondo de la cuestión, pero no querían hablar de ello. Ni que se supiera que lo habían escuchado sin “salirle al paso”.

A la siguiente sesión del taller, llevé una trascripción de las respuestas a mi lectura. Era tan exacta como si la hubiese grabado. Me parecía interesante, porque reflejaba la situación y los temores de un grupo de jóvenes que en uno o dos años se verían lanzados a la vida laboral. Estudiantes inteligentes, cultos y deseosos de expresarse. Le llamé “El día que leí conversación en el Taller.” Aunque las sesiones del taller solían ser nocturnas, no lo fueron en esas ocasiones.

La reacción de mis contertulios a la lectura debió ser aviso suficiente para mí. Apenas hubo comentarios. Quizás temieran que yo continuase con la saga: “El día que leí ‘El día que leí…’”

Nadie quería, ni yo, que el taller se convirtiera en tribuna política. Pero yo pensaba que debíamos trabajar como espejos, mostrando nuestro mundo exterior en el universo interno. Que no debíamos dejar de hacerlo por miedo, por darle argumentos a nadie, ni porque “esas cosas no se deben decir”. También creía que mi claridad de intenciones era mi amuleto. “Era joven y entusiasta” como Zenea.

Del resultado, conté anteriormente. A pesar de todas las bravuconadas que se han dicho sobre el tema, lo recuerdo con tristeza. Yo pagué mi imprudencia con pérdidas importantes, pero fui actor motu proprio. Otros sufrieron más sin haber escrito una sola de aquellas palabras, otros vieron morir su fe. Otros creyeron que el fin justifica los medios. No creo que nadie ganara, excepto en el conocimiento de la naturaleza humana.

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No eran tan inocentes como dices. Todavía te trataron bien.

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